It is a rainy day.  The rain pours down from the sky, making the day darkened and mysterious.  Puddles of rain water collect on the roads.  The soil of the flowers and trees is dampened.

In my own mind, I fight to be kind to myself.  Years of listening too often to toxic people in my life have turned into me beating myself up.  I imagine that I am some kind of monster.

When I look at the reality of it, I am not a monster at all, I am a good person with lots of good fortune.  My warm home shines and glimmers brightly against the rainy day outside.

I have been working on nurturing and nourishing my own soul recently.  The part of me that has been thoroughly traumatized is having trouble adapting to so much nurturing and good fortune.

I also imagine my past lurching around like a zombie, following me and grabbing at my ankles.

I will continue to enjoy quiet time at home.  I will knit good cheer into a scarf and stay warm against life’s chills.  I’ve had some good and some bad in my life.  Now that I am able, I will cultivate a sense of warmth, love, and pleasant living for myself.

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