I woke up this morning feeling tired and anxious and weak.  I knew I needed to find a creative way to build up my strength.  I wanted to feel a sense of my own strength and confidence.

I decided physical activity would be the best way to feel stronger.  I thought that my feeling of strength during exercise would be a great way to feel strong in general about myself.

First, I tried a new Power Yoga dvd that I got recently.  It is a really great introduction to Power Yoga for me.  I did the first few minutes.  But I felt that I would need to work on it over a period of time and see my progress incrementally.  Strength progress is something I’m looking forward to observing, with patience.

Next, I decided to do something bold.  Although it is already late morning, I checked the weather and it was still only 77 degrees outside so far.  I knew that I would be able to tolerate that amount of heat.  So, I went on a run by myself.  Usually I run with my husband, but we have been having trouble finding the time for it every day of the week.

I took my small ipod and a spare key to the house.  I got ready and tied my running shoes.

I amazed myself by being able to run the whole route on my own.  I thought there was a chance I would get discouraged since I was by myself.  The music in the headphones did a bit to keep me company.  It also helped that my husband and I have been running off and on the past few months, so I knew that technically I would be able to run the whole route if I pushed myself to keep going.

Running is quite strenuous, so I feel very proud of myself for running our route completely.  As I walked back during my cool down, the details of nature all around me were very pleasant and nourishing to experience.  [On a side note:  I live in a safe neighborhood and went running during the middle of the day.  I would encourage everyone, especially women, to be cautious about your surroundings when running or exercising on your own.  Go out and exercise with a friend if you have any concerns about safety.]

I am also proud of myself for starting good new habits.  It can be challenging to begin a new, fresh course of action.

I do not agree with the mainstream ideas about women, fitness, and weight.  I feel like women should always feel good about themselves, and their body size and body image, and that how they feel about their bodies is none of anyone else’s business.  I don’t like the pushiness and judgmentalness of today’s mainstream culture.  If an individual is living well in their own way and not hurting anyone else, which is the case for most people I think, then there should be no opinions developed by others about who they are and how they carry themselves.  Many people are kind, but some people can be vicious and judgmental.

I think having an idea that women “should” carry themselves a certain way has been a huge hurdle for me.  As I exercise for my own reasons and for my own sake, I do so in a hearty, healthy, wholesome way that strengthens my whole being.  I have respect for my body because it is quite healthy.  Even though I may end up toning my muscles as I make gradual progress, I want physical fitness to be a positive and healthful experience on its own.  In that way, I exercise on my own terms without being obsessed with superficial body issues, such as aiming for a too-skinny size and shape.

Back to my original cheerful perspective:  I welcome the strength that comes from challenging  myself through exercise.  Perhaps there will be a release of good endorphins.  Perhaps there will be a new-found sense of strength and confidence in my mind as well.